Where do you start when trying to write a Thanksgiving post? If you have any ideas, please let me know, and I'll keep it in mind for next year! For now, let’s just jump right into it!
This past year has been filled with its fair share of emotions. From extreme lows to exciting highs, I have multiple ways I could reflect back on the different recent events of my life. However, this year I have decided to respond with thankfulness. If you’ve been following my blog for the past few months, you are familiar with my life and may question the stance I’ve chosen to take. This year has not been easy by any means. I recognize that, and I've shared that. Tears have filled my eyes more times than I can count, and I've often felt defeated. It hurts more than words can describe, but for it I am thankful. Shocked? So am I. When I originally planned this post, I was going to write about my family and friends. In fact, up until the point, I started to type that was my full intent. My fingers started grazing the keyboard and words began to form, but they weren't what I was expecting. All of a sudden instead of mentioning my family and friends I was discussing how thankful I was for my struggles of the past year. Crazy right? Don't get me wrong I am thankful beyond words for my family and friends. Throughout the year, I've learned who my real friends are. They've stood by me at my darkest of times and loved me despite my broken pieces. From friends randomly showing up at my house when I am having an extremely rough day to family calling me just to say hi, I have the most amazing support system. Without my support system and the good Lord above, I don’t know where I would be today. So to all of you, thank you. As many of you know, in the past year I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and an eating disorder. All of which, I’ve silently struggled with for years. There were days when I didn’t think I would be able to live any longer. Then there were the nights (and still are the nights) when I relive my sexual assault. I won't lie; it sucks, and I do wish I never had to experience any of it. However, this is my life, and I can't run away from myself. I could choose to be bitter and full of hate, but that would solve nothing. Instead, I will choose to be thankful. I am thankful for my struggles just not in the same way some of you may think. I can guarantee you that you’re not going to hear me saying I’m glad I struggle with mental illnesses or have been sexually assaulted. I know just as well as you do, that being happy about those things would be rather messed up. However, these struggles have given me incredible opportunities that I could have never imagined. For starters, talk about this blog. Ever since I have been young, I’ve always loved to write. When I was in my lowest point this past year, I wrote daily in my journal. Eventually, I decided that I wanted to speak out. I choose to speak out not for myself, but for others. I wanted to let others know they were not alone. I had silently struggled for so long that I became convinced I was the only one who struggled. I didn't want to be seen as weak, so I stayed quiet. Once I sought help, I realized I wasn’t the only one. It took a while, but eventually with the help of my therapist; I became brave enough to make my struggles public. It was terrifying. I wasn’t sure how people would react and was afraid they would now see me as some crazy girl. I could never have prepared myself for the amount of love that was soon to follow. Over the months, I’ve been given the incredible opportunity to speak to classmates and total strangers about different mental illnesses. On October 6th, I was fortunate enough to share my story of sexual assault with nearly 500 people. I am currently involved in a group that advocates the end of domestic and sexual violence. Without my experiences, these opportunities would never be the same. Sure, I could still be a part of these events, but it would not have the same effect. It's like being told not to text and drive by someone who has never experienced any trauma because of it. Of course, you nod and say you would never do it, but then a few days later you keep doing it. Months later you hear a mother talk about how her daughter was killed because of texting and driving. Your skin becomes filled with goosebumps and from then on you vow to never text and drive again. When you hear from someone with a personal attachment to the issue at hand, everything starts to become more meaningful. I feel the same way with my personal story. From the outside looking in, my story isn’t beautiful by any means. It’s made of dark and ugly pieces hardly sticking together. I’ve learned to make it beautiful though because of what it has given me. My struggles have caused me to develop more bravery, strength, and confidence than I could ever imagine. I’ve grown as a person and the feisty little girl I have always been once again resurfaced. So no, I’m not thankful for my struggles themselves. I’m thankful for all they have given me. They’ve molded me into a strong independent woman. I’ve become an advocate to stop the stigma surrounding mental illnesses and violence. My blog has allowed me to inspire people around the world. For these things I am thankful. Now I want to take a moment to thank my readers. As I have acknowledged before, this life is hard, and I would never choose it. Sometimes it makes me want to quit writing. However, I feel it would be wrong of me to stop. Not only is writing a huge passion of mine, but my work has started to inspire others. When I started this blog, I honestly didn’t think anyone would read it. After all, who would want to read about a girl with what some would call a "messed up" life? You've proved me wrong, though; it turns out people don't think I'm as crazy as I convinced myself I was. So thank you. Thank you for your kind words and for sharing my blog with your family and friends. I wish there was a way for me to personally express to each and every one of you how thankful I am for all of your support. What are you thankful for? Let me know in the comments! Much love, Bri
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorHello everyone, I'm Bri! Here you can find me writing about life in order to help provide you with encouragement and hope. Want to find out more about me? Go visit my "About Me" page! Happy reading! Archives
April 2017
|