It is currently 6:02 a.m. and I am sitting on the floor reading through the comments many of you left on my post, “This is My Letter to You,” from last week. It is the first day of winter break for me and last night I started my journey back to the town I once called home. I am not all the way there, but that is not important.
I am awake because of nightmares and anxiety that the town causes me. This visit will be my longest stay back and if it like any of the others, it will be hard. Before I left my new city, my therapist and I developed a plan for me to make it through the visit. It includes different coping practices she has taught me and therapy sessions while I am back on this visit. While those coping methods and therapy sessions are incredibly helpful, they do not compare to the healing powers of writing. Although I had previously written a post for today that would answer the question many of you asked after last week’s post, I have decided to save it for next week. I need to express my sincere appreciation for all of you first. For the past week and a half, I have been unable to put into words how grateful I am for the support you all have shown me. I have received more comments, private messages, phone calls, snap chats, texts, and emails than I can keep track of and for each one I am incredibly grateful. I did my best to respond to each one, but if I missed any of you I am deeply sorry. I am human, and I am not perfect by any means. Admittedly, whenever I share my stories I cannot help but feel a slight bit uncomfortable. When I share, I am exposing fresh wounds and old scars for others to see. Whenever I click the word “Publish,” I do not know who will go on to read what I have written and how they will respond. So far, the response has been overall positive. A few have questioned my decision to open these parts of myself up, and although I value their input, I do not allow myself to live according to what they believe is best. I write about the real and honest struggles I have faced to help those like me. As a society, we have become accustomed to the idea of keeping our struggles private and our highlights public. I have done it, you have done it; we all have done it. Over time this has created a problem which I like to call the “Not Good Enough” problem. Each day our eyes see the best parts of other's lives, and it often leads to comparison. Suddenly, our highlights seem more like low points and our low points look like a group of rats drowning in the sewer. The fact of the matter is, this is not how it was supposed to be. We were not supposed to compare every waking minute of our lives to the few brief seconds others post on social media and yet we do. For years social media had me believing I was the only one who struggled when that was far from the truth. It was when I realized finally realized I was not the only one that I decided to live a little differently. I decided to be open and stop hiding the struggles I have faced and continue to face. I do this in writing because that is the only way I know how. I do this to let others know they are not alone and to help them have hope. I do this because I wish someone would have done it when I was in my darkest hour. This being said you are the ones that make this possible. You have given me a platform greater than I could ever imagine. You read, like, and share my posts. Your kind words often leave me in happy tears. So thank you, I appreciate every one of you, and it is because of you I continue to write.
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AuthorHello everyone, I'm Bri! Here you can find me writing about life in order to help provide you with encouragement and hope. Want to find out more about me? Go visit my "About Me" page! Happy reading! Archives
April 2017
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