It is currently 6:02 a.m. and I am sitting on the floor reading through the comments many of you left on my post, “This is My Letter to You,” from last week. It is the first day of winter break for me and last night I started my journey back to the town I once called home. I am not all the way there, but that is not important.
I am awake because of nightmares and anxiety that the town causes me. This visit will be my longest stay back and if it like any of the others, it will be hard. Before I left my new city, my therapist and I developed a plan for me to make it through the visit. It includes different coping practices she has taught me and therapy sessions while I am back on this visit. While those coping methods and therapy sessions are incredibly helpful, they do not compare to the healing powers of writing. Although I had previously written a post for today that would answer the question many of you asked after last week’s post, I have decided to save it for next week. I need to express my sincere appreciation for all of you first. For the past week and a half, I have been unable to put into words how grateful I am for the support you all have shown me. I have received more comments, private messages, phone calls, snap chats, texts, and emails than I can keep track of and for each one I am incredibly grateful. I did my best to respond to each one, but if I missed any of you I am deeply sorry. I am human, and I am not perfect by any means. Admittedly, whenever I share my stories I cannot help but feel a slight bit uncomfortable. When I share, I am exposing fresh wounds and old scars for others to see. Whenever I click the word “Publish,” I do not know who will go on to read what I have written and how they will respond. So far, the response has been overall positive. A few have questioned my decision to open these parts of myself up, and although I value their input, I do not allow myself to live according to what they believe is best. I write about the real and honest struggles I have faced to help those like me. As a society, we have become accustomed to the idea of keeping our struggles private and our highlights public. I have done it, you have done it; we all have done it. Over time this has created a problem which I like to call the “Not Good Enough” problem. Each day our eyes see the best parts of other's lives, and it often leads to comparison. Suddenly, our highlights seem more like low points and our low points look like a group of rats drowning in the sewer. The fact of the matter is, this is not how it was supposed to be. We were not supposed to compare every waking minute of our lives to the few brief seconds others post on social media and yet we do. For years social media had me believing I was the only one who struggled when that was far from the truth. It was when I realized finally realized I was not the only one that I decided to live a little differently. I decided to be open and stop hiding the struggles I have faced and continue to face. I do this in writing because that is the only way I know how. I do this to let others know they are not alone and to help them have hope. I do this because I wish someone would have done it when I was in my darkest hour. This being said you are the ones that make this possible. You have given me a platform greater than I could ever imagine. You read, like, and share my posts. Your kind words often leave me in happy tears. So thank you, I appreciate every one of you, and it is because of you I continue to write.
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"I know that you're sad, so I won't tell you 'have a good day.' Instead, I advise you to simply 'have a day.' Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet. It'll be better soon. Until then, have a day." -Unknown “Have a great day!”
This well-meaning comment slips from the mouths of many each day with innocence (Including my own on occassion). Many times those hearing the words are delighted and grateful. After all, encouraging someone to have a good day, what is the harm in that? Honestly, there is no harm. Now, you may be confused to where this is headed, and I don't blame you. However, allow me to tell you. First of all, this post is not meant to condemn those who say, “Have a great day.” On the other hand, it is not intended to make you start saying, "Have a bad day." This post is simply to encourage you to think. Earlier this spring, I found a quote that read, “I know you’re sad, so I won’t tell you ‘have a good day.’ Instead, I advise you to simply, ‘have a day.’ Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don’t give up on yourself just yet. It’ll be better soon. Until then, have a day.” For the next few weeks, the idea of encouraging someone to have a day would not leave my head. Finally, it felt like someone understood what living with different mental illnesses felt like. Living with depression, days are at times long and may leave you feeling worn out. Living with anxiety, any happy days are often filled with uncontrollable worry that something is going to go wrong and bad days having you feeling like a disappointment. You see, sometimes hearing the words, "Have a good day," is like having a soccer ball drop kicked into your face from five feet away. In the back of our minds, we know the person meant well, but anxiety tells us that we are a letdown for not having a good day. Depression joins in to put us back into a cycle of constantly not feeling good enough. So those well-meaning words have turned into something much more complicated than they were ever meant to be. Personally, I’ve started to find myself encouraging people to simply “Have a day,” more than I find myself telling them to “Have a good day.” Some may call me insensitive, but let them say that. When I encourage someone to “Have a day,” I actually become more sensitive to their feelings than when I tell them to “Have a good day.” By telling someone to “Have a day,” you allow room for them to embrace their feelings exactly as they are on that day. Personally, when people tell me to “Have a good day,” I ignore the word “good.” Some days are not good, and that is okay. By learning to reframe this common saying, I've noticed that my mood has improved. No longer do I feel like the grip depression has had on me for so long controls me and keeps me from having a good day. My anxiety is not as high as it used to be on my good days and doesn’t leave me feeling like a disappointment when I’m having a bad day. My hope is that I’ve given you a glimpse of how a slight variation in wording can change someone’s mood. It may seem strange at first, but say it to yourself for a few days. See if your mood changes in a positive way. For now, have a day. We all have those times when we just need a pep talk. Whether we find ourselves strapped for cash and don't know how we are going to pay the rent or we are worried about the health of a family member, life gets tough sometimes. If you are a college student like me, finals are approaching, and you spend all of your time studying. This week, I have decided to do something a little different. I began to write daily devotionals on top of all of my studying, so instead of writing a regular blog post this week I thought I would share one of my favorite videos. Robby Novak, otherwise known as Kid President, is a young boy who spreads positivity and joy with his videos. Watching his videos can brighten your day and allow you to catch your breath. He encourages "being awesome" and can be seen dancing throughout all of his videos. This week, I will share his video titled "A Pep Talk From Kid President to You," down below. I hope you enjoy! |
AuthorHello everyone, I'm Bri! Here you can find me writing about life in order to help provide you with encouragement and hope. Want to find out more about me? Go visit my "About Me" page! Happy reading! Archives
April 2017
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